Greetings, fellow humans! I'm out of my funk now. They don't usually come often or last long, but when they hit, I like to wallow in 'em for a while. But now I'm ready to get feisty again, and as such, I've been engaged in a pretty comical "debate" on another blog. Dave from Why Don't We Get Drunk And Blog launched a side blog called Kill Barbaro, where he lashes out against the intense media coverage of Barbaro, the horse that broke its leg during a race. Now, it's a tragic situation, and it's wonderful that people are working so hard to save the horse and give him a long and fruitful life, but the media coverage thereof was getting to be a bit much for a while there. For the sake of stirring up trouble, I fanned the flames on the blog by writing a poem about (against) Barbaro. I'm gonna link the site, but listen closely, folks - I don't want to kill Barbaro, OK? I really don't. I thought it would be interesting to see what kind of response people would provide to my provocative comments. I have nothing against Barbaro or horses in general. I love animals, and don't wish any harm upon them, except for my dogs (who jump 6 foot fences in a single leap, and eat the garbage and cat litter). And I say that 'cause I know some of you will read it and say "You're an asshole, Damian," which may or may not be true, but in this case, it's misplaced sentiment. The real entertainment is in the response from Barbaro supporters, some of whom go so far as to threaten and insult me (and others). I find it all to be quite humorous. Check out the comment sections, and don't hate me - remember, I was yanking chains, that's all. Let's 'tribe it up, people. Word. -------------------------- FRAMINGHAM, Mass. - A Brazilian man was charged with practicing medicine without a license after a woman died during liposuction performed in a private home in Massachusetts. Luis Carlos Ribeiro and his wife also face drug charges, the Boston Herald reported. The victim, Fabiola de Paula, died at MetroWest Medical Center in Framingham after Ribeiro brought her to the hospital unconscious. Middlesex County Prosecutor Lee Hettinger told the newspaper that Ribeiro could face more charges after an autopsy. Ribeiro was being held on $250,000 bail while a judge set $50,000 bail on his wife. Another patient was hospitalized when she developed a serious infection following liposuction, the newspaper said. The Herald said Ribeiro told police that he is a licensed plastic surgeon in Brazil and that he and his wife had come to the United States on short work visas. I swear, I thought shit like this only happened on "Nip/Tuck". Why in the hell would you....I mean...who would....oh, screw this. Here's a simple test for you corner-cutters to see if your plastic surgeon is on the up and up. Heed me. Questions To Ask Before Your Liposuction

• "You don't have an office in your house, do you?"
• "Exactly how long have you been in the United States?"
• "You think maybe I could see your medical license?"
• "Do you know the Hippocratic Oath, by chance?"
• "Do you speak English?" (Not applicable if you don't, either)
• "Why is the word 'surgeon' misspelled on your sign outside?"
• "In fact, why does your sign say 'Plastic Surjun and Plumber'?"
• "Could you tell me some of your recent success stories?"
• "Or, better yet, show me a photo catalog, with before and afters?"
• "What's that garden hose for?"
• "And that Electrolux?"
• "And that webcam?"
• "Why is your wife eating a sandwich in the surgery suite?"
• "Ok then, why is your surgery suite in your kitchen?"
• "Do you know what 'sterile' means?"
• "Well, OK, but what about as it pertains to surgery?"
• "Is it safe for you to be watching 'Judge Mathis' while you lipo me?"
• "Since when are Flintstone Chewables certified as surgical painkillers?"