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Example of My Insanity

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Sometimes people tell me "Damian, you so CRAZY!", and they laugh like drunken monkeys running the Tilt-a-Whirl at Six Flags Over Texas. But little do they know how right they are. In a rare moment of revelation, I'm going to share a nugget of my insanity with you. Feel badly for poor SouthernCanadian; she was the recipient (read: victim) in this lunacy. Thank Arbusto, who mentioned the name of my rogue nation in a comment on my last posting. It's all his fault. Peace. ------------------------------------------------ [10:32] Dark Damian: hit my blog. i diss minnesotans. [10:35] SouthernCanadian: I'll write him in [10:36] SouthernCanadian: I would not vote for you. I do not favor secession [10:36] SouthernCanadian: though THAT would be ironic if you ruled a small faction of the United States and seceded [10:36] Dark Damian: yeah, but think of the possibilities [10:36] Dark Damian: my government programs would make secession worth it [10:36] Dark Damian: we'd be a 3rd world country with 1st world amenities, living off the teat of the US [10:37] SouthernCanadian: oh good lord [10:37] Dark Damian: i'd be a despot [10:37] Dark Damian: but a NICE despot [10:38] SouthernCanadian: you have no idea how hard I am laughing [10:38] SouthernCanadian: I'm sure others have made similar claims [10:39] Dark Damian: ipods for everyone!! [10:39] Dark Damian: free porn! [10:39] Dark Damian: oh yes, it would be Utopia [10:39] Dark Damian: now, taxes would be a smidge higher than you're used to [10:40] SouthernCanadian: I don't pay taxes. [10:40] SouthernCanadian: I don't have an income [10:40] Dark Damian: well, everyone in Damiana would have a job [10:42] SouthernCanadian: Damiana [10:42] Dark Damian: yes. the name of my nation [10:42] SouthernCanadian: But I don't have a job because I'm a student. [10:42] SouthernCanadian: Student = no time for job [10:43] Dark Damian: oh yeah, all students will get paid to be students, but there will be a cap of 5 years for undergrad, 3 years for masters, and 5 years for Ph.D./M.D. [10:43] Dark Damian: but you'll be taxed at 40% [10:43] Dark Damian: sorry. papa's gotta pay for his jewel-lined pool [10:43] SouthernCanadian: I don't call that a nice despot [10:44] Dark Damian: I'M PAYING YOU TO GO TO SCHOOL, YOU UNGRATEFUL - i'm sorry. deep breath. [10:44] Dark Damian: whew! [10:44] SouthernCanadian: hahahahahhaha [10:45] Dark Damian: you almost made me be a bad despot [10:45] SouthernCanadian: So then how much am I getting paid? [10:45] SouthernCanadian: Since I want to know 40% of what? [10:45] Dark Damian: it'll vary by degree and major [10:45] SouthernCanadian: hey! [10:45] SouthernCanadian: no privileging one discipline over another [10:45] SouthernCanadian: Well unless.... [10:45] SouthernCanadian: yeah, never mind [10:45] Dark Damian: you want some parks, recreation, tourism & management major making the same as you? [10:46] SouthernCanadian: good point [10:46] Dark Damian: ok then [10:47] Dark Damian: roll with me, here. i'm a good despot, remember? [10:47] SouthernCanadian: okay [10:47] SouthernCanadian: good despot [10:47] Dark Damian: free health insurance [10:49] Dark Damian: we wouldn't have a military, but we'll have professional hackers on the gov't payroll [10:50] SouthernCanadian: sweet [10:52] Dark Damian: so - will you be down with my regime? [10:52] Dark Damian: or do you want your credit all fucked up? [10:53] SouthernCanadian: *sigh* [10:53] SouthernCanadian: I'll be down with your regime. [10:53] Dark Damian: good choice, love [10:54] Dark Damian: do you look good in the princess leia outfit from Return of the Jedi? [10:54] Dark Damian: ''ll need it. [10:54] SouthernCanadian: I do not look good in that outfit [10:54] SouthernCanadian: or at least I'm fairly certain I would not [10:54] Dark Damian: wow. well. [10:54] Dark Damian: guess you'll be Full Price Girl, then [10:54] SouthernCanadian: damn it [10:54] Dark Damian: oh, i encourage the black market, though [10:54] Dark Damian: in fact, i'll finance it [10:55] Dark Damian: and get some money on the back end [10:57] SouthernCanadian: good idea [10:58] SouthernCanadian: kitty bit me on the foot. [10:58] SouthernCanadian: that bitch. She's banished to a closet with an open door (becuase I'd never actually lock her somewhere) [10:58] Dark Damian: oh yeah - cats will be alotted by special permit only [11:00] SouthernCanadian: how do I get two permits? [11:00] Dark Damian: it requires proficiency with a crossbow [11:00] SouthernCanadian: shit [11:00] SouthernCanadian: that's it, I'm moving to iowa [11:00] Dark Damian: and a large sum of money [11:01] SouthernCanadian: I don't have either, and IrishTenor and I will need one permit each [11:01] Dark Damian: we're annexing iowa. they're down. [11:01] Dark Damian: Damiana rules!! [11:02] SouthernCanadian: grrrrrrrr... [11:02] SouthernCanadian: why would you WANT Iowa? [11:03] Dark Damian: iowa will develop corn-based weaponry for us [11:03] SouthernCanadian: HAHA [11:03] SouthernCanadian: a corn based weaponry [11:04] SouthernCanadian: this I'd love to see [11:04] Dark Damian: diamond cornbread razorsharp discs... [11:04] SouthernCanadian: good lord.. [11:05] Dark Damian: nuclear popcorn MIRV missiles... [11:05] Dark Damian: oh yes. [11:05] Dark Damian: we will be a superpower. [11:05] SouthernCanadian: uh...huh... [11:05] Dark Damian: did i mention the free ipods and porn? [11:06] SouthernCanadian: yes [11:06] Dark Damian: just checking


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