Ok, folks. This is pretty much gonna be 2 substandard posts in a row, but I'm doing it for you. I'm doing it so that you may entertain yourselves, even while I toil away at moving about 4 metric tons of SHIT that we have accumulated over time. I've rented 2 U-Haul trailers, and one 26' U-Haul truck, and we STILL have more things to move. I'm tired, y'all. And my hands, my poor, bass-playing hands...they're blistered. Red as hell. Sore to the touch. A friend told me recently that I had soft hands, but not today. Today they feel like a dry sponge rubbing across a sandpaper and braille sandwich. I'm wincing as I type this. Therefore, this post will be dedicated to you, folks. Today's topic: porn names. You all know the porn name formula (mad props to Dirk for talking about this on his blog): Name of your first pet + name of the street you grew up on = your porn name. I want you all to post your porn names in the comments. I'll happily start it off here with my own. Brutus Pearl. For real. Feel me. That is a powerful name, and I shall use it frequently, especially in formal settings. "Yes ma'am, I'd like to apply for a refi." "Your name, sir?" "Brutus Pearl." "Rawr. How does 0% interest and no repayment sound, big boy?" Bring it. Let's see how yours comes out. Peace. (By the way, I know this post sucks ass, so no reminders, ok? My hands hurt. I post for YOU, bitches.)