I can remember when OJ was cool. Can you recall those days, back in the late 70s and 80s? Even after the football career, I can recall seeing him in those Hertz commercials, jumping over luggage while running through the airport. I can remember him in all the Naked Gun movies, usually as the butt of a Leslie Neilson joke. I remember thinking about how cool he was, even though I had never seen him play. Juice was the MAN. And as a football player, forget it. Unstoppable. He killed 'em at USC; he killed 'em on the Buffalo Bills. The problem is, he forgot to stop killing 'em. Simpson won the Heisman Trophy in 1968 while playing for the University of Southern California. Even when he was arrested, with seemingly overwhelming evidence, I was one of that majority of black people who cried "Conspiracy!" and "Frame job!" It seemed so obvious then. L.A.'s police department wasn't exactly a shining example of fair play and good police work. Hell, the guys from "The Shield" would look at those cops back in '94 and say "Holy shit, they're hardcore." Between the RAMPART scandal, and Rodney King, it was perfectly logical that they nabbed OJ simply because he was a rich and famous black man who was married to a beautiful white woman, and living in their world. It made perfect sense. So what if he led the cops on a low-speed chase that was broadcast so much, aliens on Uranus had it on tape? He was just stressed out. So what if the Bruno Magli shoes he owned seemed tomatch up with the evidence? It was coincidence. So what if he had all KINDS of motive for the crime, and had a history of domestic violence against his wife? Past performance does not dictate future actions, right? And besides - the glove didn't fit. They HAD to acquit. But as the trial went on, I started having my doubts. Shit just seemed...off. OJ didn't seem outraged enough. If I was on trial for double murder, and I didn't do it, they would have to gag me and duct tape me to my chair, 'cause every time the prosecution spoke, I'd be saying "BULLSHIT!" OJ didn't. His lawyer was absolutely brilliant, and the LA county prosecutors were acting like it was the first courtroom they saw since watching "Night Court". When he was acquitted, I didn't rejoice like so many of my brothas and sistas. By then I was pretty sure that he did it, but the prosecution didn't make their case, in my opinion, so he HAD to be set free. I thought that would be the end. He got away with murder. Time to vanish, right? Time to move to Barbados and never be heard from again. Not OJ. In 1973, Simpson erupted with a then-record 2,003 yards, becoming the first player ever to pass the 2,000-yard mark. You see, OJ is the type of guy who loves nothing more than to be in the spotlight, no matter how much it burns him. He had to be seen, be heard, be noticed. The civil suit went against him, holding him liable for the murders, and he still hasn't paid them off. To me, this is just another insult to Nicole Brown's and Ron Goldman's families, since he knows he did that shit. Give them their money. Set up a payment plan. OJ isn't poor, not by any normal standards, at least. They can't touch his NFL pension, which pays him a pretty penny, and they can't touch his house. All he has to do is sit back, sip cosmopolitans, and try not to murder more white people. But that's not the OJ M.O. Simpson was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985. He has to be seen. Bill Bellamy, the comedian, made a great joke about being in Miami Beach at a night club one night, and seeing OJ in the VIP area dancing with 3 or 4 young women, all of whom were just falling all over themselves to get next to him. He joked about dancing next to them, pointing at OJ and making a slashing gesture across his throat as a warning to them. Star-fuckers. Famous or infamous, if you're someone they've heard of, they will attach themselves to you like barnacles. This only serves to further validate OJ, and give him more fuel to his insane fire. Hell, he's been arrested several times in the past twelve years, including that road rage incident and domestic assault on a girlfriend. Um, yeah. Time to bounce, honey. I don't care HOW much ecstacy he buys you, you WON'T be all that happy when you're the main case on CSI: Miami. After his retirement from football, Simpson went on to a successful film career with parts in films such as the television mini-series Roots, and the motion pictures The Cassandra Crossing, Capricorn One, The Klansman, The Towering Inferno, Back to the Beach, and The Naked Gun trilogy. This guy, this murderous, scandalous, shameless son of a bitch, has done so much shit in the past 12 years.

• In 1998 at the end of an interview conducted by Ruby Wax for BBC1, Simpson mimed stabbing her with a banana while mimicking the theme music from Psycho.
• In 2001, he was tried for burglary and battery in a Florida road rage case that received some publicity, but he was again found not guilty. This verdict was also covered on live national television.
• During 2003, Simpson filmed a Pay-Per-View comedy special titled Juiced. The show, a hidden camera set up show, included a controversial sketch where Simpson attempts to sell the infamous White Ford Bronco at a used car lot, telling the salesman, "It was good for me. It helped me get away." NOT KIDDING.
• Simpson considered becoming a news commentator for actor Robert Blake's murder trial. Irony, party of 1!