As I stated in my previous post, I decided to stop taking my ADD medication. Thanks to everyone for your kinds words. (Even you, Fyrchk. Gimme a dollar.) I decided to give you a blow-by-blow (tell me if that doesn't sound kinky when you say it aloud) of my days since I stopped. Note: It bears mentioning that I stopped taking my meds AMA, meaning against medical advice. Which is to say, my shrink doesn't know I've stopped. I'm certain I'll get an earful when I see her next week. Day 1: Sunday I took my meds at night, just before bed. If I took them any other time of day, I would get Excedrin Headache #8345, which is rated just below "murderous rage-inducing headache". I skipped Saturday night's dose, and when I woke up Sunday morning, I could barely put sentences together. It felt like someone drilled a hole in my skull, filled it 3/4 full with quick-setting concrete, then farted in the hole before sealing it. I had entire conversations in which I was not an active participant, even though I was talking. I felt like a bag of ass all day. But my libido was back in full force. Score! Tylenol consumption: 2000 mg Day 2: Monday Christ, it was a work day. I couldn't keep my eyes open. Excedrine Headache #432 took over for #8345, who took a much-needed break. I drive about 40 minutes to work, and I swear I was dozing for 25 of those minutes. I remember nothing about Monday, other than I had entire conversations that I couldn't recall now at gunpoint. When I turned my head, it took my brain about 1.3 seconds longer to make the transition. Trains of thought were fucking with me, denying me passage. I felt like a box of moldy doughnuts. I sold my PDA on eBay. I don't think I meant to do that. Tylenol consumption: 1500 mg Day 3: Tuesday Thank God, I work at home on Tuesdays. I felt better when I woke up that morning. I recognized my children, which is nice. I called them by their given names, meaning I didn't have to call them "Hey, Big One and....Not As Big One". Today I was visited by Excedrine Headache #79, who was much nicer to me than the other two. I was starving all damn day, since I was missing that desirable appetite suppressant. I was able to string sentences together cogently, and people understood me when I spoke to them. At band practice that night, I was told I looked stoned. I couldn't stay on rhythm, either coming in too early or too late the whole time. I had trouble playing a song that I wrote. Tylenol consumption: 1000 mg Day 4: Wednesday Felt much better today. The Excedrine Headaches took the day off. I overheard them making plans for a trip to Cabo. I was merely drowsy when I drove to work, as opposed to the fugue state I was in on Monday. My clothes matched. I was able to talk to people without them looking at me like I was Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys. I bought a $0.99 Whopper, even though I had lunch at work. Then I ate that lunch, too. I see that I'll need to start going to the gym again. I attended a meeting, and was able to follow a solid 40% of it without dozing. I felt kinda blah, but that's better than feeling "huh", as I did the previous 3 days. I even cut some grass when I got home, but I quit when I realized I could be playing SOCOM II on the Playstation instead. Hot damn, my priorities returned!! Tylenol consumption: 0 mg Day 5: Thursday I feel 100% normal today (well, normal for me, at least). No headaches (damn them and their trip to Mexico, the bastards. I hope they get pinkeye), no fuzziness, and I feel really clear-headed. Now, I realized that I probably should've weaned myself, rather than quit cold-turkey, but it's over. The medicine did help me...I was more structured, more organized, and I could complete tasks more efficiently. But I just couldn't deal with sexual side effects. For me, it's simply not worth it. I've been living and dealing with my ADD for years, and I'm confident that I'll be able to figure out a coping mechanism for it now. Let's hope I can stay on the beat at band practice tonight. Tylenol consumption: 0 mg Peace.
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