I'm in a foul mood. Usually I'm Captain Happy-Go-Lucky, but today I'm more like Nappy-Go-Fuck-Yourself. Too much stress, I suppose. Hopefully this little list will be cathartic for me, and I'll feel better afterward. If you don't like it, well, too damn bad. Things That Piss Me Off

• People that jabber incessantly with nothing of value to say (celebrities, pundits, radio show hosts, people with no idea of how empty they are)
• People who don't know the meaning of words like "cathartic" or "incessant"
• People who call their animals their children (except for you, Jana)
• People with grand-animals (except for your mom, Jana)
• People that loiter behind me in the Wal-Mart parking lot, waiting for me to move. I intentionally wait a few more moments. Of course, I'm also guilty of doing this, so I piss myself off, too.
• Ugly people with loud voices. Jesus, pick one, not both.
• Whiners (yeah yeah, you've got it bad. So fucking what. Join the club; the sign-in sheet's in the back)
• People with addictions of all types (again, I'm also guilty of this. I may have to punch myself in the face later)
• Dumb dogs who don't learn not to jump fences or make large fecal deposits in the kids' bedroom
• Randy Moss
• SUVs and large pickups that change lanes without signaling first, because they can
• Country music (except when I'm drunk and singing karaoke)
• People that assume I can dance and play basketball upon first meeting me
• White people that say "nigga"
• Black people that say "nigga"
• Norwegians that say "nigga" (OK, I made that one up)
• People that refuse to even consider dating others outside of their comfort zone (race, religion, economic standing, height, size, etc.)
• All racists
• Satellite broadband internet providers
• People that own guns, but don't own a bank account or a check book
• People who spend more on spinning rims than on child support
• Martha Stewart
• Rich people (unless they wanna break me off a couple of dollars)
• People who say "I'm Rick James, bitch!" who are not named Dave Chappelle
• People who are too pussy to commit suicide without endangering the lives of others
• The entire cast of "Jackass", "Viva La Bam", "Wild Boyz"...
• People who harm animals needlessly
• People who harm kids
• People who harm kids (yes, I said it twice. It bears repeating)
• Convicted criminals who can vote from jail
• Whoever invented Barney, Blue's Clues, Teletubbies, The Wiggles, and Dora the Explorer
• People named Debbie (I've never met a nice person named Debbie. Only bitches. Deborah's, however, are ok.)
• Guys that punch you to show you how cool/tough/manly they are
• People that snicker when you say you were in marching band
• People who work in public places that don't speak English. You live here, you learn my language.
• People who have never been to a live theatrical performance, and have no desire to go
• Acrobats (they're so damn limber)
• The "B" group of the Barnum and Bailey Circus (if you don't know, don't worry about it)
• Professional athletes who complain about money
• People who didn't like "Big Trouble in Little China"
• People who don't like or get "South Park", "Family Guy", "Drawn Together", or anything on "Adult Swim". Grown down, asses.
• People who think 33 is old
• People who dump on me for playing computer games or PlayStation 2
• Bob Jones University
• People who suck, and more specifically, people who don't suck at all. You know what I mean.